A Hungry Dog

I like to keep my kids on their toes. Mor­gon, 11, asked me to dic­tate some­thing to him for dic­ta­tion prac­tice today. Here is what came out.

Dear Sir,

We regret to inform you that your pet Eng­lish bull­dog, which you dropped off for a rou­tine check­up on Tues­day morn­ing, appar­ent­ly has an enour­mous appetite. After attempt­ing to bit the nurse’s hand, “Fifi” got away, and pro­ceed­ed to con­sume most of the ani­mals in our board­ing facil­i­ty: some 13 cats, 7 dogs of var­i­ous sizes, 2 cows, and 1 sheep. Oh, and 1 box tur­tle. We are defer­ring the costs for all dam­ages, as well as the replace­ment of said ani­mals, to you, and the charges will be added to your bill.

We do request that you come and pick up Fifi imme­di­ate­ly, though we rec­om­mend the rental of a large mov­ing truck.


Otis Hand­born, DVM

Hand­born Vet­eri­nar­i­an Clinic


P.S. …And a fer­ret. Please come at your ear­li­est convenience.

Categorized as Tales

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